My Long Haul Travel Hell...

With a long haul flight approaching I am reminded of all the bloody annoying habits that my fellow travelers indulge in, particularly here in the subcontinent….

1) Pushing and shoving to get on board before everybody else and then faffing about and blocking the aisle so everybody has to wait while the thoughtless asshole repacks his cabin baggage.
2) Sitting down and immediately reclining the seat fully. My defense is the knees in the back, pronto.
3) Demanding a can of beer or bottle of wine immediately and becoming annoyed with the cabin crew if the wish is not fulfilled.
4) Spilling over the armrest into my seat without even a glance.
5) Talking on the mobile despite being constantly asked to turn it off by the cabin crew.
6) Pushing past without saying excuse me.
7) Removing my cabin baggage in order to fit their oversized piece in.
8) Not buckling up seat belt despite being asked to by cabin crew.
9) Cooperating with cabin crews requests to put seat upright, buckle up etc but then immediately reversing as soon as cabin crew move on.
10) Standing up as soon as the wheels touch down.
11) Pushing and shoving to get off the aircraft as soon as possible (same people as 1above).
12) Talking to me incessantly.
13) Snoring
14) Belching, burping ostentatiously.
15) Putting on the headphones and then singing or humming along.
16) Racing off the plane and then blocking the corridor by walking in a slow moving huddle.
17) Getting to escalators and then immediately standing still and blocking them.
18) Getting in the wrong queue at passport control
19) Pushing in in queues ( astonishingly common in the Middle East)


All of the above are alas commonly experienced in ‘the east’ and surprisingly much less often in ‘the west’.

How to explain?