Look up ‘Singularity’ in a dictionary and this is what you’ll find……
1. The quality or condition of being singular.
2. A trait marking one as distinct from others; a peculiarity.
3. Something uncommon or unusual.
4. Astrophysics. A point in space-time at which gravitational forces cause matter to have infinite density and infinitesimal volume, and space and time to become infinitely distorted.
5. Mathematics. A point at which the derivative does not exist for a given function but every neighborhood of which contains points for which the derivative exists. Also called singular point.
I was surprised in my research, admittedly brief, OK then, extremely brief, indeed, one might even say cursory, that in all the definitions of singularity I looked at none mentioned a key point which is that in the astrophysical and mathematical world a singularity is something beyond which it is impossible to see or know.
And this is not a case of mere probability either, for example, one might say it is impossible to know what will happen tomorrow and this , strictly speaking is true. However we can assign meaningful probabilities to what may happen tomorrow – a 70% chance of rain for example - But we cannot assign a probability of what will happen after a singularity is reached, that is a fundamental part of the definition of the word.
Nowadays it has become fashionable to talk of a forthcoming cultural and/or technological singularity, informed by the likes of Terrance Mckenna, Ray Kurzwiel, Vernor Vinge et al. This concept(s) seems to be a bit of a mash up of science, folklore, new ageism, religion, wishful thinking, crackpottery and yes, some intelligent and informed speculation.
Clearly something’s up, we cannot go increasing our population indefinitely, sustained development is the great modern oxymoronic mantra of today’s idiot politicians, technology appears to be advancing at an ever increasing rate, particularly in certain areas like information technology, the climate is changing, finite resources are being exhausted and, some would say, the human race is being changed by its every increasing degree of connectedness.
So is this all utter shite?
Let Jeaunse explain his simple and yet effective method for determining the answer for you dear reader:
The way I see it is that there are two main types of ‘predictor systems’ currently operating in the human sphere: The ‘Rational’ and the ‘Non Rational’. In Rational Predictor Systems ( RPS’s) (Doncha just love TLAs?) one may use a variety of algorithmic mechanisms that are essentially mathematical in nature, they may include some element of extrapolation or finite element analysis, they may be statistically based or knowledge system based, whatever, they will all yield results that give a range of probabilities that are derived and defined by the method being used.
In Non Rational Predictor Systems (NPSs) results may be produced by astrology, various –mancies, The I Ching, strongly held ‘feelings’, ‘hunches’ etc. The main difference between the two systems is that while RPSs give results within a range of probabilities which widen as the time period over which the predictions are being made increases, NPSs give only absolute answers within a range of possibilities which remain the same over the time period.
This difference is absolutely significant, for with a RPS, after a certain time, tF, the width of the range of probabilities will have reached 100% and at this point anything can happen or, putting it another way, no useful information can be found. With a NPS however, the confidence of the prediction is non time dependant and so if I ask a powerful meteorological computer ‘will it rain in London on this day in 20 years time?’ the result has such a wide margin or error that it is meaningless, in other words a prediction cannot be made. However when I ask a Shaman to give me an answer to the same question he or she may well say ‘yes’ or indeed ‘no’.
This means that after tF The NPS is actually more reliable than the RPS. This then is my rationale for using NPSs for the prediction of future events that are a long way off or are extremely complex or both.
Back to our singularity. As a mathematical construct it is impossible to know what lies on the other side and therefore we need to fall back on NPSs to give us some glimpses of what may be in store for us. In order to bring a degree of confidence to the results obtained by NPSs I propose to use a method which I call Multiple Parallel Non Rational Predictions ( MPNRP , pronounced MpuhNerp). MPNRP uses an array of NPSs focused on one question and superimposes the results. For example I use a dream interpretation, tea leaves, I Ching, a drug induced predictive state with something like Ayahuasca, to ask will in rain on this day in twenty years time? Combining the results of these ( and ideally many more divining techniques) will give me a result that will have a degree of confidence built in which while still wide will nevertheless be narrower than the result from a powerful computer.
Utilising MPNRP we can therefore look at the other side of the forthcoming singularity!
And we can make a start immediately because there are already sufficient crackpot ideas sloshing around cyberspace for me to correlate some and get an idea of, for example, when this will be.
No surprises here as it is already widely agreed by those who have gazed into the future using a whole variety of, frankly barmy methods, to see that very many of them agree that it will be in 2012…. So soon? Well, I know, but MPNRP provides ample confirmation that this will be the date.
Here at JAIP - the Jeaunse Advanced Institute for Prediction, we are busy putting incisive questions about the future to a whole range of raving holy men, new age nutters, practitioners of ridiculous –mancies, fortune tellers and clairvoyants and carefully collating their answers. And even at this early stage in our researches let me tell you that the answers are astonishing! For example it seems that in the post 2012 world we must expect to live a life entirely free from beetroot, and what is more, by 2020 there will be no such thing as raffia......
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Enjoyment
I think I may have spotted a gap in the market:
Enjoying yourself lessons!
Yes, for only £50- an hour my team and I will teach people how to enjoy themselves. Well, I seem to enjoy myself most of the time, so I guess I must be reasonably good at it. Therefore I should pass my expertise on and there certainly seems to be lots of folk out there who clearly never learned or perhaps could simply do with a refresher course and for a reasonable sum I will provide. When I think of the number of people who suffer depression and all those happy to shell out for all manner of ‘therapies’ I think I could be onto a winner, I could establish a Jeaunse School of Enjoyment franchise and really coin it. There would be modules on:
Having fun
Experiencing pleasure
Having a laff
Being happy
The roots of joy.
Advanced enjoyment
Enjoyment theory
How to rid yourself of guilt
Effective enjoyment
Naïve enthusiasm
Practical work would be great!
Of course, one shouldn’t laugh (well, not all the time anyway) this enjoyment business is, after all a serious affair and of course there’s no easy route to enjoyment, one needs to practice and practice. When I see how seriously people take so many enjoyable things like listening to music, looking at art, tasting wine I find myself thinking that what these people need is enjoying yourself lessons, they seem so grave. And I absolutely don’t buy that crap about being ‘grown up’ either. Having fun is, for me one of the great pleasures of life and its maybe time that I started advertising the fact.
Quote: Zoya Boone
It's like a rainbow. Without an observer at a twenty-three-degree angle to the light reflecting off a cloud of spherical droplets, there is no rainbow. The whole universe is like that. Our spirits stand at a twenty-three-degree angle to the universe. There is some new thing created at the contact of photon and retina, some space between rock and mind."
Thursday, August 20, 2009
AN IDEA
Experienced bad service? Purchased a bad product? Been ripped off?
Feel that your voice is not being heard when you complain? Angered by the automated reply your whinging email produced? Why then, just head on over to: www.Iwanttocomplain.com . Every hour of every day of every week IWTC will tabulate and publish the top useless service providers, the top crap products, the top rip offs in your area. So, as well as checking out what’s good, you can now protect yourself by checking out what’s bad before shelling out your hard earned….. Getting a listing on IWTC will hopefully be such a powerful consumer force that share prices will tumble following a listing. And what a great place to advertise! Not on IWTC? Then advertise the hell out of your product on the site! Everybody seeing that Sprainsberries Comestibles PLC are selling rotten Chinese tomatoes will turn right around and head on over to buy ASRA’s reasonably priced and entirely healthy organic vegetables. And it could be a great price moderator. Supermarkets and their ilk love to advertise how cheap (sorry , ‘reasonably priced’) certain of their products are well how about IWTC advertising how expensive some of their products undoubtedly are? It’s all too easy to be suckered into buying cheap baked beans but spending more over all on your overall shopping basket because the larks tongues and truffles are overpriced. A universal web based complaints forum is long overdue don’t you think?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
MEGA CRISIS LOOMS FOR HUMAN BEINGS – WHATS THE BIG DEAL?
Looking at the evidence, and by that I mean evidence available via the multiple media formats that increasing numbers of us have easy access to as well as the evidence which is apparent though our daily experience of the world we inhabit, its pretty damn clear that us human beings have wrought some very significant changes to the face of the planet we inhabit, nearly all of them negative from the perspective of ‘quality of life’ or indeed, what is so laughably termed ‘sustainable development’.
Equally laughable in my opinion is the notion that ‘we’ can do anything about it! You see, I have what might be termed a ‘post- Lovelockian’ perspective on the matter. My thesis is that there is actually nothing of any significance that can be done about the current ‘environmental crisis’ and further, kidding ourselves that there is, is simply collective egotism of the most monstrous kind. In fact , to me, ‘doing something about it’ is a paradoxical notion. Of course, this is a huge heresy, are we not the all powerful Homo sapiens? Bestriding the world like a dominant and yet benevolent conqueror? And do we not have a mighty and unique tool at our disposal in the shape of the human brain? Capable of making ipods and atom bombs, ring pull cans and mortgages, indeed a veritable panoply of amazing constructs that are surely proof in themselves that we are close to almighty? Wielding this extraordinary tool there is surely no need for us to be concerned, after all, there will be another technological fix along in a short while, the ‘boffins’ will figure it out, I mean to say, ‘things’ are much better now than they were one hundred or one thousand years ago aren’t they?
Hmmm, well, depends on your perspective I guess. If you are a western, modern, middle class individual you are certainly likely to live longer and be materially wealthier than you would have been in the distant past, but are we actually more fulfilled, are we happier? I would venture that sales of prozac and diazepam suggest possibly not. We are beset by affluenza, obesity, and mental illness and yet we fondly believe that we have never had it so good. And of course, for the vast majority of us things are actually massively worse, no access to clean water, enslavement to malignant political, religious or commercial systems, malnutrition and poverty are actually all on the rise for the majority of human kind.
Way to go Homo sapiens.
And now we are faced with a huge crisis, the likes of which our species have only experienced on a very few occasions, if ever. Our planet simply cannot support our burgeoning population, and there is going to be a cull, sixty to eighty percent of the human race will be removed, maybe more, there will be massive unrest, wars, tyranny on a scale previously unimagined coming to a country near you soon. The climate will change, sea levels will rise, the poles will shrink or disappear. The balance of probability says that this will happen and happen in our children’s lifetime. There is no technological fix that will allow us to continuing to ‘develop’ ad infinitum.
Let us therefore consider the ‘long game’: The doom merchants love to talk about the ‘Big rock from space’ or ‘Supervolcanoes’ and indeed these are all real and ever-present, however, the immediate threat is that we have well exceeded our planets capacity, overpopulation plus climate change is happening now, not hundreds of thousands or millions of years into the future.. Of course the Tech-Fix merchants will have it that eventually we will migrate to other planets, or build huge artificial habitats in space, that we will migrate away from the sun, live in tubes and push buttons, that we will live forever in luxury and good health….. Well, apart from the fact that this is purest childish fantasy/wish fulfillment I can’t imagine that we would be any happier than we are now. Consider, it may be possible, by linking our bodies up to various pieces of medical kit to allow us to live for simply ages, disease and stress free in fluid filled pods free from threat of physical trauma of any kind. Fancy it? No, I didn’t think you would… It seems to me that we have become confused and have come to absolutely equate happiness with living a long (preferably immortal) and physically healthy life ( nowhere more apparent than in the US) and it is the blind adherence to this idea that has lead us to where we now find ourselves. Thus, it is not until we, as a species, are able to understand that this may not be the path to ultimate fulfillment that things will change.
And part of this path involves changing our attitude to death promulgated by the Abrahamic religions. I have no fear of death, I certainly fear the pain that may be associated with it however, but this can be ameliorated simply by the use of some natural plant alkaloids and changing societal attitudes to euthanasia. For me death equals peace and I can’t understand what there is to fear about peace.
Back to the long view: Worst case scenario, all of humanity is removed from the planet. What has really changed? From the perspective of our collective ego, much, but from a Gaia perspective, almost nothing, the celestial bodies continue on their orbits as if nothing has changed at all! If the population is significantly thinned out then fine, the biosphere will continue its ever changing dance, new forms will arise and fade, catastrophes will happen, yes, that super volcano will eventually erupt, that big rock will come crashing down, it has happened before and it will happen again. It is, simply, the way things work and we should be celebrating that rather than fighting it.
Equally laughable in my opinion is the notion that ‘we’ can do anything about it! You see, I have what might be termed a ‘post- Lovelockian’ perspective on the matter. My thesis is that there is actually nothing of any significance that can be done about the current ‘environmental crisis’ and further, kidding ourselves that there is, is simply collective egotism of the most monstrous kind. In fact , to me, ‘doing something about it’ is a paradoxical notion. Of course, this is a huge heresy, are we not the all powerful Homo sapiens? Bestriding the world like a dominant and yet benevolent conqueror? And do we not have a mighty and unique tool at our disposal in the shape of the human brain? Capable of making ipods and atom bombs, ring pull cans and mortgages, indeed a veritable panoply of amazing constructs that are surely proof in themselves that we are close to almighty? Wielding this extraordinary tool there is surely no need for us to be concerned, after all, there will be another technological fix along in a short while, the ‘boffins’ will figure it out, I mean to say, ‘things’ are much better now than they were one hundred or one thousand years ago aren’t they?
Hmmm, well, depends on your perspective I guess. If you are a western, modern, middle class individual you are certainly likely to live longer and be materially wealthier than you would have been in the distant past, but are we actually more fulfilled, are we happier? I would venture that sales of prozac and diazepam suggest possibly not. We are beset by affluenza, obesity, and mental illness and yet we fondly believe that we have never had it so good. And of course, for the vast majority of us things are actually massively worse, no access to clean water, enslavement to malignant political, religious or commercial systems, malnutrition and poverty are actually all on the rise for the majority of human kind.
Way to go Homo sapiens.
And now we are faced with a huge crisis, the likes of which our species have only experienced on a very few occasions, if ever. Our planet simply cannot support our burgeoning population, and there is going to be a cull, sixty to eighty percent of the human race will be removed, maybe more, there will be massive unrest, wars, tyranny on a scale previously unimagined coming to a country near you soon. The climate will change, sea levels will rise, the poles will shrink or disappear. The balance of probability says that this will happen and happen in our children’s lifetime. There is no technological fix that will allow us to continuing to ‘develop’ ad infinitum.
Let us therefore consider the ‘long game’: The doom merchants love to talk about the ‘Big rock from space’ or ‘Supervolcanoes’ and indeed these are all real and ever-present, however, the immediate threat is that we have well exceeded our planets capacity, overpopulation plus climate change is happening now, not hundreds of thousands or millions of years into the future.. Of course the Tech-Fix merchants will have it that eventually we will migrate to other planets, or build huge artificial habitats in space, that we will migrate away from the sun, live in tubes and push buttons, that we will live forever in luxury and good health….. Well, apart from the fact that this is purest childish fantasy/wish fulfillment I can’t imagine that we would be any happier than we are now. Consider, it may be possible, by linking our bodies up to various pieces of medical kit to allow us to live for simply ages, disease and stress free in fluid filled pods free from threat of physical trauma of any kind. Fancy it? No, I didn’t think you would… It seems to me that we have become confused and have come to absolutely equate happiness with living a long (preferably immortal) and physically healthy life ( nowhere more apparent than in the US) and it is the blind adherence to this idea that has lead us to where we now find ourselves. Thus, it is not until we, as a species, are able to understand that this may not be the path to ultimate fulfillment that things will change.
And part of this path involves changing our attitude to death promulgated by the Abrahamic religions. I have no fear of death, I certainly fear the pain that may be associated with it however, but this can be ameliorated simply by the use of some natural plant alkaloids and changing societal attitudes to euthanasia. For me death equals peace and I can’t understand what there is to fear about peace.
Back to the long view: Worst case scenario, all of humanity is removed from the planet. What has really changed? From the perspective of our collective ego, much, but from a Gaia perspective, almost nothing, the celestial bodies continue on their orbits as if nothing has changed at all! If the population is significantly thinned out then fine, the biosphere will continue its ever changing dance, new forms will arise and fade, catastrophes will happen, yes, that super volcano will eventually erupt, that big rock will come crashing down, it has happened before and it will happen again. It is, simply, the way things work and we should be celebrating that rather than fighting it.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
JAMES LOVELOCK ON BBC HARDTALK
Anybody see it? Astonishing!
In case you didn’t, his premise en précis:
1) Balance of probability is that it is now to late to do anything about climate change and that the climate will shortly ‘flip’ to a new stable condition about 6C warmer than now.
2) Most ‘Green initiatives’ are a complete waste of time.
3) Nuclear power is a viable source of energy for highly urbanized parts of the world.
4) Dealing with nuclear waste is a trivial problem compared with the problems we are facing.
5) Our strategy now should be adapting to the new climate.
6) The earth is/will be only capable of sustainably supporting one to two billion people.
7) The big dieback from the current 6.5 billion people plus will take place this century.
8) Wind power is a joke. ‘Bad engineering’.
9) Biggest problem we have now is population.
10) Gaia will ‘see to’ the population problem ( see 5 and 6).
11) None of this is definite but the balance of probability is that it will happen.
12) Fooling around with ‘reducing carbon footprints’ and other such nonsense will only serve to prolong the agony and will deflect us from concentrating on what is now the main issue ( see 5 ).
He presents a very compelling case and I cant help but think he is very much on the right track.
How will You/I/We cope with what we/pur children will almost certainly have to face?
In case you didn’t, his premise en précis:
1) Balance of probability is that it is now to late to do anything about climate change and that the climate will shortly ‘flip’ to a new stable condition about 6C warmer than now.
2) Most ‘Green initiatives’ are a complete waste of time.
3) Nuclear power is a viable source of energy for highly urbanized parts of the world.
4) Dealing with nuclear waste is a trivial problem compared with the problems we are facing.
5) Our strategy now should be adapting to the new climate.
6) The earth is/will be only capable of sustainably supporting one to two billion people.
7) The big dieback from the current 6.5 billion people plus will take place this century.
8) Wind power is a joke. ‘Bad engineering’.
9) Biggest problem we have now is population.
10) Gaia will ‘see to’ the population problem ( see 5 and 6).
11) None of this is definite but the balance of probability is that it will happen.
12) Fooling around with ‘reducing carbon footprints’ and other such nonsense will only serve to prolong the agony and will deflect us from concentrating on what is now the main issue ( see 5 ).
He presents a very compelling case and I cant help but think he is very much on the right track.
How will You/I/We cope with what we/pur children will almost certainly have to face?
STENCH!
Warning: This piece contains material of a disturbing nature please do not read if you are of a sensitive nature……….
It sounds like the name for a band or even a post – ironic name for a modern perfume but I want to talk about the Real Thing: Stench!
In the UK we don’t really do ‘stench’ do we? Oh, we complain and even recoil when things smell a bit off but ask yourself, when was the last time you really experienced a genuine, honest to goodness stench eh? In my letters home, I’ve often talked about the sights and sounds of India, but it occurred to me earlier today that I have never really delved particularly deeply into the smells of India. I recall having written about the all pervasive background smell that one generally encounters in the worlds ‘warmer regions’, a redolent cocktail of decay that is not especially unpleasant and soon fades into the general sensorial background noise. I kind of like it and its pretty much the first thing to greet me when I step off the plane at Mumbai. But India as an olfactory experience is utterly unique in terms of both the intensities and the contrasting varieties of odour on offer: The spices, the perfumes, the incense, the flowers etc all have a travel brochures clichéd charm of course but nothing that you can’t experience at some point in every high street in the UK these days. Where India excels is in the, erm, somewhat less marketable whiffs that abound here in so many interesting combinations.
Partly it’s to do with the sun but its also to do with India’s unfortunate (and nobody can deny this) lack of hygiene and civic housekeeping, sorry, make that complete absence of same.
I am consistently struck by just what a totally litter strewn place the subcontinent is, I used to think South East Asia was bad but believe me it’s a paragon of orderliness compared to Mother India, in fact it is really quite difficult to find somewhere that is not litter encrusted and of course ‘litter’ here is, ahem, rather more than the odd crisp packet. … Dead dogs for example are not that uncommon a part of the rubbish ecosystem here and let me tell you, until you’ve had a good lungful of dead dog that’s spent a few days out in the baking sun until its swollen fit to burst and a deep purple-red in colour, you have really not given your nostrils the full work out. I notice that even the crows don’t touch them.
With the chronic lack of public (or private) ‘conveniences’ in India, the elimination of waste products from the human body is something that is generally done in public and no notice is taken of it, one simply ‘doesn’t see it’ However, said waste materials solid or liquid do have a certain pong that is multiplied manyfold by a combination of sheer quantity and of course the ever present heat. This does not mean that the place smells like a toilet, far from it, toilets in the west smell predominantly of chemicals; perfumes odourants and disinfectants, chlorine and phenolics that whilst distinctive and yes, not exactly pleasant, are a far cry from the full- on stench that may be given off by a Mumbai back street once the sun gets up…… The last important component are the odours given off by unbridled and pretty much unregulated heavy industry; metal smelters, pharma companies, fine organics producers and their ilk spray an impressive mix of gaily coloured fumes and liquid waste streams direct into the long suffering environment and some of these smells can cause your hair to stand on end and your eyes to bulge ( as well as smart and water). I’m a chemist and yet I can’t even begin to guess at the chemistry of some of the smells I encounter. There’s one I pick up every now and again that’s like very intense cat piss and another one that reminds me, somehow of rotting metal….In practice of course these odours are mingled and layered to subtle ( and not so subtle) effect, ever changing and transforming, blending with ( and usually dominating ) all those other, rather more pleasing smells I mentioned earlier. So a visit to India is always an olfactory adventure, one simply never knows exactly what noxious pong one will encounter next and there are times, here in New Bombay when I think ‘enough already’ give me the delicate perfume of a silage clamp or some simple diesel fumes.
It sounds like the name for a band or even a post – ironic name for a modern perfume but I want to talk about the Real Thing: Stench!
In the UK we don’t really do ‘stench’ do we? Oh, we complain and even recoil when things smell a bit off but ask yourself, when was the last time you really experienced a genuine, honest to goodness stench eh? In my letters home, I’ve often talked about the sights and sounds of India, but it occurred to me earlier today that I have never really delved particularly deeply into the smells of India. I recall having written about the all pervasive background smell that one generally encounters in the worlds ‘warmer regions’, a redolent cocktail of decay that is not especially unpleasant and soon fades into the general sensorial background noise. I kind of like it and its pretty much the first thing to greet me when I step off the plane at Mumbai. But India as an olfactory experience is utterly unique in terms of both the intensities and the contrasting varieties of odour on offer: The spices, the perfumes, the incense, the flowers etc all have a travel brochures clichéd charm of course but nothing that you can’t experience at some point in every high street in the UK these days. Where India excels is in the, erm, somewhat less marketable whiffs that abound here in so many interesting combinations.
Partly it’s to do with the sun but its also to do with India’s unfortunate (and nobody can deny this) lack of hygiene and civic housekeeping, sorry, make that complete absence of same.
I am consistently struck by just what a totally litter strewn place the subcontinent is, I used to think South East Asia was bad but believe me it’s a paragon of orderliness compared to Mother India, in fact it is really quite difficult to find somewhere that is not litter encrusted and of course ‘litter’ here is, ahem, rather more than the odd crisp packet. … Dead dogs for example are not that uncommon a part of the rubbish ecosystem here and let me tell you, until you’ve had a good lungful of dead dog that’s spent a few days out in the baking sun until its swollen fit to burst and a deep purple-red in colour, you have really not given your nostrils the full work out. I notice that even the crows don’t touch them.
With the chronic lack of public (or private) ‘conveniences’ in India, the elimination of waste products from the human body is something that is generally done in public and no notice is taken of it, one simply ‘doesn’t see it’ However, said waste materials solid or liquid do have a certain pong that is multiplied manyfold by a combination of sheer quantity and of course the ever present heat. This does not mean that the place smells like a toilet, far from it, toilets in the west smell predominantly of chemicals; perfumes odourants and disinfectants, chlorine and phenolics that whilst distinctive and yes, not exactly pleasant, are a far cry from the full- on stench that may be given off by a Mumbai back street once the sun gets up…… The last important component are the odours given off by unbridled and pretty much unregulated heavy industry; metal smelters, pharma companies, fine organics producers and their ilk spray an impressive mix of gaily coloured fumes and liquid waste streams direct into the long suffering environment and some of these smells can cause your hair to stand on end and your eyes to bulge ( as well as smart and water). I’m a chemist and yet I can’t even begin to guess at the chemistry of some of the smells I encounter. There’s one I pick up every now and again that’s like very intense cat piss and another one that reminds me, somehow of rotting metal….In practice of course these odours are mingled and layered to subtle ( and not so subtle) effect, ever changing and transforming, blending with ( and usually dominating ) all those other, rather more pleasing smells I mentioned earlier. So a visit to India is always an olfactory adventure, one simply never knows exactly what noxious pong one will encounter next and there are times, here in New Bombay when I think ‘enough already’ give me the delicate perfume of a silage clamp or some simple diesel fumes.
Monday, August 17, 2009
AM I A NEO –LUDDITE?
Excuse me while I just optimize some mission-critical methodologies, leverage our real time infrastructures, enable a front-end paradigm or two and recontexturalise a few
next-gen deliverables…….
I find myself growing increasingly frustrated and yes, even a little angered by the growing trend of hiding simple and obvious business practices or procedures behind an increasing lexicon of bizspeak bullshit. Here in India its an epidemic far more contagious than H1N1 and this is not because of the obvious conclusion that it is used by stupid people to make themselves sound clever (although I have no doubt that there is an element of this), rather it is a combination of the ‘emperors new clothes’ effect combined with a blind and unquestioning adherence to the idea that new stuff is somehow better than old stuff.
In fact questioning this new stuff is actually the new blasphemy so implicitly is it assumed to be the way ahead. So I have to be careful, I have to be seen to be embracing the newspeak enthusiastically lest I should be dubbed ‘negative’ heaven forefend that there should be ‘degrowth’ in my ‘attitude profile’!
next-gen deliverables…….
I find myself growing increasingly frustrated and yes, even a little angered by the growing trend of hiding simple and obvious business practices or procedures behind an increasing lexicon of bizspeak bullshit. Here in India its an epidemic far more contagious than H1N1 and this is not because of the obvious conclusion that it is used by stupid people to make themselves sound clever (although I have no doubt that there is an element of this), rather it is a combination of the ‘emperors new clothes’ effect combined with a blind and unquestioning adherence to the idea that new stuff is somehow better than old stuff.
In fact questioning this new stuff is actually the new blasphemy so implicitly is it assumed to be the way ahead. So I have to be careful, I have to be seen to be embracing the newspeak enthusiastically lest I should be dubbed ‘negative’ heaven forefend that there should be ‘degrowth’ in my ‘attitude profile’!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
The evolutionary basis of hypocrisy……..
It’s a universal trait, and the symmetry that this presents in terms of people ( like me for example) who think of others of being hypocrites, being hypocrites themselves in doing so is rather satisfying don’t you, dear reader, agree?
So why this behavior pattern is so universally adopted? Is it like, for example, the need to believe in some higher being, merely a side effect of intelligence? Some sort of cognitive interference pattern caused by the reflexive nature of our consciousness? Or, on the other hand, does it confer some evolutionary or survival benefit?
I have often heard it suggested by politicians and by business men ( sorry, persons) that hypocrisy can be used for the ‘common good’. In conflict situations the ability to think/say one thing and yet do another is a definite survival strategy and certainly the ecology of business is extremely analogous to that of nature ( Yes, I know, it is part of nature ) and of course, in business it is not necessarily the most open, honest and ethical that survive. One could say that that mimicry and camouflage are both simple forms of hypocrisy and that the hypocrisy that humans exhibit is simply a more complex form of these traits. If this is the case (as seems likely to me) then we should accept that it is as much a survival strategy as caring for each other or indeed, in some circumstances deliberately not caring!
It’s a universal trait, and the symmetry that this presents in terms of people ( like me for example) who think of others of being hypocrites, being hypocrites themselves in doing so is rather satisfying don’t you, dear reader, agree?
So why this behavior pattern is so universally adopted? Is it like, for example, the need to believe in some higher being, merely a side effect of intelligence? Some sort of cognitive interference pattern caused by the reflexive nature of our consciousness? Or, on the other hand, does it confer some evolutionary or survival benefit?
I have often heard it suggested by politicians and by business men ( sorry, persons) that hypocrisy can be used for the ‘common good’. In conflict situations the ability to think/say one thing and yet do another is a definite survival strategy and certainly the ecology of business is extremely analogous to that of nature ( Yes, I know, it is part of nature ) and of course, in business it is not necessarily the most open, honest and ethical that survive. One could say that that mimicry and camouflage are both simple forms of hypocrisy and that the hypocrisy that humans exhibit is simply a more complex form of these traits. If this is the case (as seems likely to me) then we should accept that it is as much a survival strategy as caring for each other or indeed, in some circumstances deliberately not caring!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Welcome to Document 2
Welcome to Document 2. Please remove your shoes before entering. Once inside please relax and make yourself comfortable, an amusing anecdote will be along shortly, if you have any complaints about the service please report them to a member of staff who will be pleased to deal with your enquiry, here at Jeaunsetalk we take our clients opinions very seriously.
Important Notice: Jeaunsetalk regrets to inform its clients that there has been an unforeseen technical issue with the provision of amusing anecdotes, however the management is doing its utmost to resume normal service as soon as possible. In the interim there will be a series of ill thought out, biased and frustrated rants.
Swine Flu in India.
These days, I really look forward to the Times of India arriving each morning just prior to my breakfast, I have developed a morbid fascination with monitoring the ways in which the Indian media and the Indian government continue to get the whole H1N1 thing soo wrong. I keep meaning to make a list of the flatly contradictory statements that I find in every edition, provided to the readership under the guise of ‘education’, oh and a note of the governments astonishingly inept handing of the situation which appears to me to be carefully designed to maximize the spread, the mortality and panic amongst the population.
Firstly, the media here is taking every possible opportunity to use the word ‘Panic’ it occurs, not only on the front page every single day but also see pages 3,4,6,7 etc. Usually its printed in Bold, often in a nice spot colour so as to ensure that it has maximum impact, I mean, we wouldn’t want anybody to miss out on the fact that, for example there is no need to.... PANIC!!! now would we… This is nicely set off by the smug and self congratulatory tone with which we are informed that India is keeping the ‘dreaded’ and ‘virulent’ bug at bay whilst also berating the government for being ‘clueless’! Self appointed ‘experts’ are popping up everywhere telling people that, for example, if you take antivirals when you haven’t got the virus you’ll damage your vital organs. This morning I read that it is very important to wear masks, that only N95 spec masks work, that all masks are useless and all in the same paper.
To be fair there is some balanced comment and some commentators are now suggesting that it cant be stopped.
Yesterday I was told that the airport was using high tech ‘laser’ scanners to monitor all immigrants, indeed somebody who had recently arrived from Dubai told me that they had been ‘scanned’. This morning I read that Mumbai airport will be getting temperature monitors ‘soon’. There seems to be the generally held belief that the spread of the virus can be somehow ‘stopped’ and there are regular calls to the authorities to shut schools and ban gatherings in public places as if this will ‘stop’ the spread. I was told that ‘they did it in Mexico’ and it was successful…. Really? I see, so there is now no H1N1 in Mexico then…?
My colleagues reactions vary from ‘Couldn’t really care less’ ( a bit like me ) to ‘there is going to be a catastrophe’. There is real fear however, as many people do believe that the virus is ‘deadly’. There is absolutely no understanding of the difference between a bacterium and a virus, I really think that most people think the two are synonyms, lots of people think that Tamiflu is an antibiotic. There is also a confusion between the Common Cold and Seasonal Flu ( just as there is at home, the amount of times I’ve heard that somebody has a ‘touch of flu’ when all they have is a cold, the piss off is of course when you actually do have flu and you’re in bed for a few days people think you are a pathetic malingerer. Same with people who will insist on calling a headache a migraine, I bet that really gets on the tits of real migraine sufferers.
So I’m watching and waiting and am intrigued to see how this all pans out… Hey what do I know, they may even sort it out and prevent H1N1 from spreading.
Yeah right.
Important Notice: Jeaunsetalk regrets to inform its clients that there has been an unforeseen technical issue with the provision of amusing anecdotes, however the management is doing its utmost to resume normal service as soon as possible. In the interim there will be a series of ill thought out, biased and frustrated rants.
Swine Flu in India.
These days, I really look forward to the Times of India arriving each morning just prior to my breakfast, I have developed a morbid fascination with monitoring the ways in which the Indian media and the Indian government continue to get the whole H1N1 thing soo wrong. I keep meaning to make a list of the flatly contradictory statements that I find in every edition, provided to the readership under the guise of ‘education’, oh and a note of the governments astonishingly inept handing of the situation which appears to me to be carefully designed to maximize the spread, the mortality and panic amongst the population.
Firstly, the media here is taking every possible opportunity to use the word ‘Panic’ it occurs, not only on the front page every single day but also see pages 3,4,6,7 etc. Usually its printed in Bold, often in a nice spot colour so as to ensure that it has maximum impact, I mean, we wouldn’t want anybody to miss out on the fact that, for example there is no need to.... PANIC!!! now would we… This is nicely set off by the smug and self congratulatory tone with which we are informed that India is keeping the ‘dreaded’ and ‘virulent’ bug at bay whilst also berating the government for being ‘clueless’! Self appointed ‘experts’ are popping up everywhere telling people that, for example, if you take antivirals when you haven’t got the virus you’ll damage your vital organs. This morning I read that it is very important to wear masks, that only N95 spec masks work, that all masks are useless and all in the same paper.
To be fair there is some balanced comment and some commentators are now suggesting that it cant be stopped.
Yesterday I was told that the airport was using high tech ‘laser’ scanners to monitor all immigrants, indeed somebody who had recently arrived from Dubai told me that they had been ‘scanned’. This morning I read that Mumbai airport will be getting temperature monitors ‘soon’. There seems to be the generally held belief that the spread of the virus can be somehow ‘stopped’ and there are regular calls to the authorities to shut schools and ban gatherings in public places as if this will ‘stop’ the spread. I was told that ‘they did it in Mexico’ and it was successful…. Really? I see, so there is now no H1N1 in Mexico then…?
My colleagues reactions vary from ‘Couldn’t really care less’ ( a bit like me ) to ‘there is going to be a catastrophe’. There is real fear however, as many people do believe that the virus is ‘deadly’. There is absolutely no understanding of the difference between a bacterium and a virus, I really think that most people think the two are synonyms, lots of people think that Tamiflu is an antibiotic. There is also a confusion between the Common Cold and Seasonal Flu ( just as there is at home, the amount of times I’ve heard that somebody has a ‘touch of flu’ when all they have is a cold, the piss off is of course when you actually do have flu and you’re in bed for a few days people think you are a pathetic malingerer. Same with people who will insist on calling a headache a migraine, I bet that really gets on the tits of real migraine sufferers.
So I’m watching and waiting and am intrigued to see how this all pans out… Hey what do I know, they may even sort it out and prevent H1N1 from spreading.
Yeah right.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
REPORT ON PROBABILITY ‘I’
The human memory is a funny thing, well, mine certainly is anyway…… For instance it’s amazing just how quickly my memory of what it’s like actually being in Mumbai fades. I have been away for just eight weeks and yet the culture shock is there upon my return, waiting to greet me at Chaatrapati Shivaji International Airport like some faithful old friend. Of course there are significant components of this culture shock that I am used to, the poverty, the dirt, the squalor, the chaos, the heat, the sheer size and density of the place, the smells, the sounds etc. These are all very familiar to me after years of traveling here and no longer create the ‘OMFG’ effect that they used to, however it is the culture itself that is always the source of renewed wonder and yes, exasperation. Its not until one actually starts to interact with India and Indians that the really profound differences show themselves. Whilst we may all be the same under the skin as individuals, when a group of these individuals get together and decide to become a culture then it seems to me that we can be as different as it is possible to imagine, and, time after time this catches me out. For a start there’s the language: On Saturday evening a bunch of Indian friends invited me to the ‘Golden Swan Country Club’ up in the hills of the Sanjay Ghandi National Park at Yeor for drinks. This place is what would be referred to in ‘Indian English’ as ‘swanky’ that is, it’s a very middle class sort of place where well-off families can go to escape the trials of the city, there’s tennis courts, an impressive one hole golf course, swimming pools, a boating lake, restaurants, bars, all set in beautifully manicured surroundings at half a dozen hundred feet above sea level surrounded by greenery encrusted mountains. We’ll ignore the fact that it’s actually dirty and decrepit with very much below par food (you can get better at virtually any road side stall and at one tenth the price). The first thing that strikes me on my arrival is that the language being spoken, seemingly at every table is English and not ‘Hinglish’ either but the full-on, home counties, received pronunciation, ‘queens’ version. Indeed, close your eyes and you could be in any middle class, middle England establishment back home, perhaps the only difference being the rather superior range of vocabulary utilised by the Indians…..
‘Why’ I asked my friends, ‘does everybody speak English?’ ‘Because English is the aspirational language.’ was the unanimous reply (i.e.: it’s a class thing). Thing is, these people are fiercely nationalistic and in many respects strive to put as much distance between themselves as modern Indians and the English as possible, ridiculing for example the poor Sri Lankans with their red post boxes and English style breakfasts for being unable to break the ties with the erstwhile oppressors! For me of course, being exceptionally lazy when it comes to language skills, its great, or at least it seems so on the surface, however, Indian English, even when the vocabulary, syntax and pronunciation is so flawless, is not the same as the English I speak, there’s something in the semiotics or in the way the brain compiles the higher level language from its neuron firing based machine code that means that real communication between an Indian and an English person is fraught with difficulty that only a certain amount of experience can detect, let alone overcome, and even then not one hundred percent. I see it all the time in business, an English person comes here, meets an Indian and they have a business discussion, it goes well and various decisions are taken, the English person goes home and then both parties are surprised to find that things are not working our quite how they envisaged, it can and has caused significant problems to my knowledge and yet this communication gap is almost never discussed, nor even for the most part recognized! I’m really not sure that this can ever be fully overcome except perhaps by somebody bought up equally in India and in England.
Still, one gets by and learns to be very careful in the interpretation of what people are saying. Clearly this presents few problems when going about the daily administrative routine, if I ask for an apple say, or for a report on X issued last Tuesday then that, for the most part, is exactly what I will get, however, if I ask what a person thinks about an issue or for the rationale behind, say, a particular business strategy then I really have to take care, and when it comes to emotional issues then, well, it may as well be a completely different language. I have been told for example, after a few minutes chat with somebody that I am ( with much smiling and wagging of the head) their ‘very good friend’.
Maybe it’s me but after a lot of consideration I have come to the conclusion that Indians are essentially a pretty insecure lot, maybe it’s because of history or maybe it’s because they are surrounded by reminders of how things could be if they put a foot wrong. This insecurity is quite well disguised however, by a thick insulating layer of behaviors. These can easily be mistaken for hypocrisies, the fake politenesses, the pretend concerns for others or for the sanctity of life for example. Now I am fully aware that this is a condition that afflicts many of us (I know it does me) but here in India I find that it is somehow different both qualitatively and quantitatively from the rest of the world and again it can easily lead to difficulties with deep and or subtle forms of communication, Indians have fake sincerity down to a tee and they don’t just fool foreigners with it, they routinely fool each other! Now I am aware that this sort of diatribe can easily become or be mistaken for ‘Native Bashing’ and that is absolutely not my agenda; firstly its just too easy and secondly I am not asserting the superiority of one way of doing things over another but am simply exploring the roots of certain of the daily frustrations facing an English person living in India.
The above points coalesce nicely around the media: I love reading the newspapers here and yet they raise my metaphorical blood pressure alarmingly! The standard of journalistic integrity (ignoring the obvious oxymoron) is perhaps lower than anywhere else I have ever been, the ill disguised biases, the class/caste issues, the political agendas the poor or non existent research, the credulity stretching sensationalism, the fawning love of celebrity . The point here is that the Indians who read these newspapers are not blind to these things but they simply don’t see them as issues…. So what if the newspaper exaggerates or twists the truth? And yes, I recognize the fact that newspapers all over the world do all of the above but believe me, after reading The Times of India for example, the Daily Sport or that tower of impartiality, the dear old Daily Mail seem like paragons of fine journalism!
And of course, under that thin film of courtesy and mildness there simmers a dark heart of brutality, something else that the traveler is best aware of lest it should catch them unawares.
So that’s got that off my chest, I am now looking at a couple of months of heat and rain, a fantastic time for amphibians and insects and so am looking forwards to getting out into the Jungle as soon as I possibly can, this weekend hopefully……….
More as it happens
The human memory is a funny thing, well, mine certainly is anyway…… For instance it’s amazing just how quickly my memory of what it’s like actually being in Mumbai fades. I have been away for just eight weeks and yet the culture shock is there upon my return, waiting to greet me at Chaatrapati Shivaji International Airport like some faithful old friend. Of course there are significant components of this culture shock that I am used to, the poverty, the dirt, the squalor, the chaos, the heat, the sheer size and density of the place, the smells, the sounds etc. These are all very familiar to me after years of traveling here and no longer create the ‘OMFG’ effect that they used to, however it is the culture itself that is always the source of renewed wonder and yes, exasperation. Its not until one actually starts to interact with India and Indians that the really profound differences show themselves. Whilst we may all be the same under the skin as individuals, when a group of these individuals get together and decide to become a culture then it seems to me that we can be as different as it is possible to imagine, and, time after time this catches me out. For a start there’s the language: On Saturday evening a bunch of Indian friends invited me to the ‘Golden Swan Country Club’ up in the hills of the Sanjay Ghandi National Park at Yeor for drinks. This place is what would be referred to in ‘Indian English’ as ‘swanky’ that is, it’s a very middle class sort of place where well-off families can go to escape the trials of the city, there’s tennis courts, an impressive one hole golf course, swimming pools, a boating lake, restaurants, bars, all set in beautifully manicured surroundings at half a dozen hundred feet above sea level surrounded by greenery encrusted mountains. We’ll ignore the fact that it’s actually dirty and decrepit with very much below par food (you can get better at virtually any road side stall and at one tenth the price). The first thing that strikes me on my arrival is that the language being spoken, seemingly at every table is English and not ‘Hinglish’ either but the full-on, home counties, received pronunciation, ‘queens’ version. Indeed, close your eyes and you could be in any middle class, middle England establishment back home, perhaps the only difference being the rather superior range of vocabulary utilised by the Indians…..
‘Why’ I asked my friends, ‘does everybody speak English?’ ‘Because English is the aspirational language.’ was the unanimous reply (i.e.: it’s a class thing). Thing is, these people are fiercely nationalistic and in many respects strive to put as much distance between themselves as modern Indians and the English as possible, ridiculing for example the poor Sri Lankans with their red post boxes and English style breakfasts for being unable to break the ties with the erstwhile oppressors! For me of course, being exceptionally lazy when it comes to language skills, its great, or at least it seems so on the surface, however, Indian English, even when the vocabulary, syntax and pronunciation is so flawless, is not the same as the English I speak, there’s something in the semiotics or in the way the brain compiles the higher level language from its neuron firing based machine code that means that real communication between an Indian and an English person is fraught with difficulty that only a certain amount of experience can detect, let alone overcome, and even then not one hundred percent. I see it all the time in business, an English person comes here, meets an Indian and they have a business discussion, it goes well and various decisions are taken, the English person goes home and then both parties are surprised to find that things are not working our quite how they envisaged, it can and has caused significant problems to my knowledge and yet this communication gap is almost never discussed, nor even for the most part recognized! I’m really not sure that this can ever be fully overcome except perhaps by somebody bought up equally in India and in England.
Still, one gets by and learns to be very careful in the interpretation of what people are saying. Clearly this presents few problems when going about the daily administrative routine, if I ask for an apple say, or for a report on X issued last Tuesday then that, for the most part, is exactly what I will get, however, if I ask what a person thinks about an issue or for the rationale behind, say, a particular business strategy then I really have to take care, and when it comes to emotional issues then, well, it may as well be a completely different language. I have been told for example, after a few minutes chat with somebody that I am ( with much smiling and wagging of the head) their ‘very good friend’.
Maybe it’s me but after a lot of consideration I have come to the conclusion that Indians are essentially a pretty insecure lot, maybe it’s because of history or maybe it’s because they are surrounded by reminders of how things could be if they put a foot wrong. This insecurity is quite well disguised however, by a thick insulating layer of behaviors. These can easily be mistaken for hypocrisies, the fake politenesses, the pretend concerns for others or for the sanctity of life for example. Now I am fully aware that this is a condition that afflicts many of us (I know it does me) but here in India I find that it is somehow different both qualitatively and quantitatively from the rest of the world and again it can easily lead to difficulties with deep and or subtle forms of communication, Indians have fake sincerity down to a tee and they don’t just fool foreigners with it, they routinely fool each other! Now I am aware that this sort of diatribe can easily become or be mistaken for ‘Native Bashing’ and that is absolutely not my agenda; firstly its just too easy and secondly I am not asserting the superiority of one way of doing things over another but am simply exploring the roots of certain of the daily frustrations facing an English person living in India.
The above points coalesce nicely around the media: I love reading the newspapers here and yet they raise my metaphorical blood pressure alarmingly! The standard of journalistic integrity (ignoring the obvious oxymoron) is perhaps lower than anywhere else I have ever been, the ill disguised biases, the class/caste issues, the political agendas the poor or non existent research, the credulity stretching sensationalism, the fawning love of celebrity . The point here is that the Indians who read these newspapers are not blind to these things but they simply don’t see them as issues…. So what if the newspaper exaggerates or twists the truth? And yes, I recognize the fact that newspapers all over the world do all of the above but believe me, after reading The Times of India for example, the Daily Sport or that tower of impartiality, the dear old Daily Mail seem like paragons of fine journalism!
And of course, under that thin film of courtesy and mildness there simmers a dark heart of brutality, something else that the traveler is best aware of lest it should catch them unawares.
So that’s got that off my chest, I am now looking at a couple of months of heat and rain, a fantastic time for amphibians and insects and so am looking forwards to getting out into the Jungle as soon as I possibly can, this weekend hopefully……….
More as it happens
Twitter.....WTF????
OK, so now I know I’m getting old: I have tried, honestly I have but no matter how much I read, mo matter how many ‘Twitter made simple’ explanations I’ve read ( and re read) I simply cannot make out what twitter is supposed to be or why it is , apparently something to get exited about. I cant figure out how to send tweets to people, only out into the void, I cant figure out how to receive tweets from people, I don’t understand whether I do it from my phone ( or how) or from my computer, the websites that purport to make it all simple are full of jargon like ‘RSS feeds’ that leave me feeling that I’m some kind of idiot.
So, not only do I not know what it is or what it is for, I cant figure out how to use it or how to set it up… Thus far in my 55 years I’ve been able to figure out how to use lots of software, how to fix my computer when it goes wrong, I can blog, I can mail, I can skype, heck I can even facebook but twitter has me completely stumped. I actually want to be able to read my sons tweets but have been completely unable to do so. What is more nobody I know has got a clue either which is a tiny bit scary, we’re excluded from something and we don’t even know what that something is! Personally I blame the creators of the website, there is no attempt at explaining anything in real English, its assumed that you’re part of the facebook generation and if you’re not then FU pal.
So, not only do I not know what it is or what it is for, I cant figure out how to use it or how to set it up… Thus far in my 55 years I’ve been able to figure out how to use lots of software, how to fix my computer when it goes wrong, I can blog, I can mail, I can skype, heck I can even facebook but twitter has me completely stumped. I actually want to be able to read my sons tweets but have been completely unable to do so. What is more nobody I know has got a clue either which is a tiny bit scary, we’re excluded from something and we don’t even know what that something is! Personally I blame the creators of the website, there is no attempt at explaining anything in real English, its assumed that you’re part of the facebook generation and if you’re not then FU pal.
I spent yesterday morning, from first light until almost midday looking, completely unsuccessfully as it turned out, for the elusive Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher. This is a superb little bird which arrives here in Mumbai just before the Monsoon and proceeds to breed, disappearing north again at the end of the Monsoon. It’s a terrific little beastie as well, like a perfect miniature kingfisher but with more orange colouration than the common or garden variety.
The ODKL (for this is what the Indian birders habitually refer to it as) lives in deep mountainous jungle and this means that it is rarely seen. At this time of year however it is active rearing young and if a nest can be located then there is a good chance of seeing one. Monsoon, Deep Mountainous Jungle….. Hmmmmmm
We set off on foot from, Nagla, a small village at the base of a range of jungle clad mountains Just North of Mumbai island and proceeded to climb up along a steep, narrow and amazingly slippery path through thick and lush forest. Underfoot was a hard compacted surface made slick with mud and, just to make things a little more interesting, every now and then the path became rutted or sloped steeply to one side or another, just walking without slipping and falling took a huge amount of concentration. The temperature, due to the dense cloud cover was reasonable at 28C but the humidity was crippling and within a few hundred yards of beginning the climb we were all drenched in sweat and panting with exertion, after around an hour, we reached a spot where my friends had previously seen and indeed photographed the ODKL a few weeks previously. Standing still however bought a new irritant in the form of clouds of aggressive biting flies of several types. First there were the mossies, the least of our worries, then there were these small black and voracious midges, absolutely evil in their numbers and speed of attack. We were of course all plastered in DEET but it seemed to make absolutely no impression on them, I guess that the rivers of perspiration gushing from my pores soon washed it away anyway. Lastly there was an intriguing, huge and very loudly buzzing fly of a type I have never seen before. Yellow- orange and about an inch long ( BIG!) with a long and sharp forward facing proboscis these things liked to land on the lower half of the body and then proceed to bite through, well probably Kevlar by the looks of them. I’m very interested to find out what they were as they were completely new to me. I must say we did get a laugh out of it as one person after another did a little dance trying to avoid them.
Then it started to rain. We manfully said that we would give it another half an hour or so and we were convinced that we heard the high pitched ‘peee-peee’ that signified the ODKL was about but what with the rain, the flies and the deep gloom of the extraordinarily dense jungle we lasted about ten minutes before slipping and sliding back down the mountain, pausing only to slap ineffectually at the swarms of flies that seemed to surround each person. When we arrived back at the car we were drenched, muddy, baking hot, pouring sweat and covered in bites. Lovely. Jungles – Pah!
The ODKL (for this is what the Indian birders habitually refer to it as) lives in deep mountainous jungle and this means that it is rarely seen. At this time of year however it is active rearing young and if a nest can be located then there is a good chance of seeing one. Monsoon, Deep Mountainous Jungle….. Hmmmmmm
We set off on foot from, Nagla, a small village at the base of a range of jungle clad mountains Just North of Mumbai island and proceeded to climb up along a steep, narrow and amazingly slippery path through thick and lush forest. Underfoot was a hard compacted surface made slick with mud and, just to make things a little more interesting, every now and then the path became rutted or sloped steeply to one side or another, just walking without slipping and falling took a huge amount of concentration. The temperature, due to the dense cloud cover was reasonable at 28C but the humidity was crippling and within a few hundred yards of beginning the climb we were all drenched in sweat and panting with exertion, after around an hour, we reached a spot where my friends had previously seen and indeed photographed the ODKL a few weeks previously. Standing still however bought a new irritant in the form of clouds of aggressive biting flies of several types. First there were the mossies, the least of our worries, then there were these small black and voracious midges, absolutely evil in their numbers and speed of attack. We were of course all plastered in DEET but it seemed to make absolutely no impression on them, I guess that the rivers of perspiration gushing from my pores soon washed it away anyway. Lastly there was an intriguing, huge and very loudly buzzing fly of a type I have never seen before. Yellow- orange and about an inch long ( BIG!) with a long and sharp forward facing proboscis these things liked to land on the lower half of the body and then proceed to bite through, well probably Kevlar by the looks of them. I’m very interested to find out what they were as they were completely new to me. I must say we did get a laugh out of it as one person after another did a little dance trying to avoid them.
Then it started to rain. We manfully said that we would give it another half an hour or so and we were convinced that we heard the high pitched ‘peee-peee’ that signified the ODKL was about but what with the rain, the flies and the deep gloom of the extraordinarily dense jungle we lasted about ten minutes before slipping and sliding back down the mountain, pausing only to slap ineffectually at the swarms of flies that seemed to surround each person. When we arrived back at the car we were drenched, muddy, baking hot, pouring sweat and covered in bites. Lovely. Jungles – Pah!
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