FD

Gor lummy gov its bleedin parky in Delhi and I did not come to India to be 'parky', oh no siree. Thick fog 'n'all, by midday theres a feeble sun which warms the air to about 20C by five its almost dark and we're back to 'parky'  once again. Really looking forward to my return to Bombay and lots more of that real bone warming heat that I so crave staying in a bit of a third rate hotel, well put it thi way, its not 5* . Staff dont have much Eeengleesh but even so how can I go wrong ordering food? Very easily as it turns out - this is the room service conversation that I've just enjoyed:

'Hello Room sevice?'
' Hello?'
'Hello room service?'
'Hello'?
'Can - You Hear Me'
'Yes sir'
Can I order some food?
'yes sir'
'I'd like a vegetable biryani please'
'An egg Jalfrezi?'
'No an vegetable biryani'
 'An egg Jalfrezi?'
'No! A Veg Et Able Bi-Ry-An-I '
'Sorry sir' - a pause.

New voice

'Room service'
'Ah!  Can I have a Vegetable Biryani please?'
'Sorry sir?'
'A Veg Et Able Bi-Ry-An-I '
'You want one egg what sir?'

'Tell you what I'll come down to reception'

Oh yes, the telly dont work and theres no heating - And the beer that I ordered half an hour ago has yet to arrive...

This would not happen in sunny Bombay.....